Bolina, I know you're not frustrated.. it's just a warning that ppl who reply to me may feel that way. IThank you for your support and advice and i hope it continues.
He apologised for being the way he was.. but we've just had a phone call that shows me how manipulative he can be. I'm so fed up with it.
Last nite we were talking about whether to meet up or not..he said he just wanted a few drinks n early nite... so I left him to it. And he ended up gettin drunken txts around midnite..nothing too emotional, just asking what i was doin etc.
But then today he tells me I'm all he has and he always wants to be around me n see me. So why has that not been the case lately? But if i say that I seem the needy gf dont I.
Convo today was filled with accusation, lies and "he's doing all he can to just stay alive" and as i'm the only one he's got, if he keeps upsetting me, there's no point to him living.
He raises his voice at me down the phone but when i do the same he says to me in thiis weak voice "stop shouting, i cant handle it, stop yelling at me". It's pathetic.
He says I'm not acting normal (re: the giving him space during this stressful time) but, I'm not doin it for me, I'm doing it for him.. you're not supposed to smother depressed ppl and especially those under stress, so I'm leaving him to it. And I told him this is what i was doing, then he accuses me of not telling him how i feel and i keep my feelings to myself!
I'm sick of his drama. And the threats of suicide. I'm temtped to call someone like the hospital, I don't know? Just next time he does it and hes drunk, they'll show up at his door. The only thing thats stopped me is that his job is at stake and he could lose it if they find out how bad he is.
Bolina, you're right, other than cutting down on drink when hes around me, he's done nothing.
He is in counselling, which was provided by our work place.. but it's every 2-3 weeks or so. He needs it more often.
He's not on his medication.
anvilhead, the first few times I heard it I thought it was a cry for help. But many ppl keep saying its attention seeking, but what if it isnt? what if one day he does something stupid, god forbid (as he has just said to me today, he's been on the brink of it all week).
I'm really starting to get confused between what is right and what's wrong. What is an alcoholic? Is he even an alcoholic? Or is it me over reacting? I'm pretty sure he is addicted to alcohol.
Sesh, thank you.. that quote is powerful. I've read your topic too and with others I wish you nothing but good luck. You're very strong and I hope to be like that one day.