Originally Posted by
mentallyexh 
Thank you all for your thoughts.....and littlefish...he can't or won't communicate with me about his drinking or any other issue we may have. His way of communicating is telling me to stop bi###### and shut up. Then he gets very mean w/ his words and leaves. There is NO talking to him about anything real.
mentallyexh,
your title to this thread was :plz help me understand me.....
i guess i have no idea how to understand you. out of all the responses to your thread, the only one you answered was from littlefish about your inability to communicate with an abusive alcoholic.
do you understand why you want to communicate and engage with him all the time? do you know it is a waste of energy to speak to someone about their addictions until they have some recovery time?
calling you names and telling you to shut up is NOT communication it is verbal abuse.
are your children there to witness this abuse?
you are writing in the books of their lives (something i heard from dr phil, but it still works
)
the girls will get the idea ingrained in their heads that it is okay to be abused physically and emotionally by a useless lying alcoholic. Why? Because Mom did it, and they know no better.
the boys are learning that men don't need to be supportive partners, only big cry babies who drink to solve problems and lash out at the weaker people because he can.
if you used the energy you expend trying to "communicate" with this worthless fool on your children instead, you will all come out a winner.
i dont know how you grew up, but i grew up with an abusive alcoholic and a depressed mother who did little if anything to protect us.
if you think the kids are too young to remember these things, i am telling you from experience that i remember some very bad times, back to when i was 3 years old. I am 51 now.
Please get away from the addict, if you can't do it for yourself, do it for your children. You will never regret it.
Beth