Baby steps are fine. I know that it took me about 6 months of baby steps until I said "enough is enough" and that was it. I will say, though, that I worked very hard in those 6 months on assimilating reams of information, working hard at counselling and al-anon and being very, very honest with myself.
You say that you have nothing else to do with yourself. How about making a change in that direction? What do you enjoy doing? Being with other people always helps me - seeing other people model healthy behaviours keeps my perspective on the straight and narrow. Volunteering, maybe, or how about an evening class or sports club?
I can't help but feel that he is dangling enough of the right words in front of you to keep you hooked. He is behaving appallingly towards you and that is not healthy for you, regardless of whatever excuses you or he may make for him. If I ever treated those I loved (or anyone else, actually) in that way, I would be so ashamed and would do whatever it took to stop doing that. What about you?