I know. Thank you all so much for your replies. You all speak sense and this is what I need to hear. And just to let you know, I'm seeking advice, aswell as support - just in reference to a topic i've read on here about members giving advice n noe support.
It may be frustrating for you, but i'm the same as IWantControl.. I need to take baby steps. I don't know why... I used to be so much stronger than this. I know working with him plays a big factor in this, and me living alone also.. I have nothing else to do with myself.
IWC, I have no idea if he is still cutting down his drink as I've only seen him outside of work once this week.
I just don't know if its his depression, or wanting to drink thats making him act like this right now. He did say he hasnt been taking his meds.
I resisted texting him all day (well i replied to a txt during work where he said that he was sorry for being in a weird mood n he doesnt want to shut me out n just that he keeps hurting ppl n it makes him feel worse) and it was so hard not to get in touch, and just as i was about to, he texted me. Saying he's sorry.. for "whatever it is ppl do before they give up". He also said that i have my life and do i want to spend it with him. I just dont know how to respond to something like that. Course I do, or I did. I'm so in love with him otherwise I wouldn't care less about him n would just leave him to take his own path. But I also know what's right for me.. but how can you say that someone who already feels ****.. it's like kicking him when he's down. I also sense he may be out drinking... but this i can only suspect, as i have no idea and it's my paranoia perhaps too.