Wow, so many red flags!!! Try to see it for what it is and not fantasize about how it could be. When I married my AH there were a lot of red flags, but I ignored them all - minimalized, denied and fantasized about our life together. Things got worse and worse and worse, up to the point where I ended up going absolutely crazy - I moved out a little over a month ago after being married for only a little over a year! And I'm struggling - to say the least!
What is it that you love about him? Is he really the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, giving his current behavior (is this the kind of behavior you are looking for in a spouse)? Maybe it would help if you'd make a list of what you would want your marriage to look like and the kind of characteristics you would want to see in your spouse (be specific) and then make a list of all the things your AF (or AH) brings to the table (not what he could do - not his potential - but what he's actually showing you right now - make sure you're honest). Then see if the two lists match. Chances are they won't - because I doubt that if you were to think about a happy marriage you'd say I want a marriage where there's no trust, my spouse lies and cheats (i.e. STD) on me, tries to manipulate and control me, etc.
"Why am I so worried about breaking his heart and ruining his world, when he has done so much of that to me??? I want to NOT feel sorry for him!!!"
I had to get really, really, really angry at AH before I could stop feeling sorry for him (and even now, I have moments where I'm thinking "but he's lonely and just needs someone to love and care about him, and I'm a cold-hearted btch for walking out" and then I remind myself - he chose to drink, even though he knew it would break us apart, he chose to treat me badly, he chose to cheat - me leaving is a consequence of his actions. Maybe keep reminding yourself of all the things he's already done to you - there's no need to feel sorry for him - you leaving him is a natural consequence to his disrespectful behavior. He would be getting what he asked for.
"How does he manage to downplay the STD issue too??? I should've taken that moment to call it quits."
Because he can - I'm sure this is not the first time he's lied and you're still by his side. BTW it's never too late to change your mind - just because you didn't leave him the moment you found out, doesn't mean you can't leave him now because of it. This is a major issue, and if you don't feel 100%comfortable and happy with the way your marriage/ relationship is now, you don't have to stay in it! A friend of mine was only married for a few months, she soon realized that this just wasn't right for her (her husband wasn't an alcoholic, they just were too different and it wasn't working at all for her) - so they divorced. Sometimes it just doesn't work - if two people have different ideas of what a marriage should look like then marrying probably isn't the best thing to do. Have you figured out what it is you want out of a marriage, and what is it your AF wants out of a marriage (again try to be specific).
Sorry if I'm rambling a bit... just wrote down whatever came to mind! I wish you all the best... and no matter what you decide to do, get support and try to not get blindsided by his words (look at his actions!)!!!