transformyself

Wouldn't that be a shocker?

He still wants to reconcile, has found the therapist. We are friendly, and he actually went to my cousins wedding with me and the kids to support me while my dad was in town. We had fun, but I would have had as much or more without him. I'm very comfortable on my own.

There's no sign of OW. He calls her horrible names.
When I trigger about his affair, he apologizes. Is learning more about PTSD and how to be supporive.
He's controlling his drinking not getting drunk--which won't last I can tell you that.

I thought recently that if he kept this up, and became husband of the year, for I dunno, three years, I might feel safe around him again.

But mostly I feel nothing. I know its smart to not trust him, or get too close, but this isn't intellectual. It's internal. My give a sh1t is broken I think.

He is an A and anything can happen at any time. Actions speak louder than words, and in time he'll show his true self.

I dunno. I'm not taking too much time to think about it or spend time with him. STill focusing on me, still working my own program. Not getting boundaries all screwed up.

I don't feel desperate, I don't feel elated that he's working this hard. I just want to clean the kitchen and go to bed.

My work has taken an intense turn and I now have a team of young film makers following me around making a documentary--which is perfect. The only way to accomplish what I need to is to show the reality of the situation to the world. So, my work is very much consuming. And fulfilling.

I am loving my kids, working on helping them overcome their issues from their screwed up parents.

I just don't really care that much about him. It's weird..

Thanks for listening. And by the way, if you are new here, thank you for sharing your experience strength and hope too. It really helps me.