Celtic, I am a recovering alcoholic but I know where you in terms of your ex. My xh (certain he was an alchi but he never admitted) put me through hell in a handbag. I bit my tongue, held things in and kept thinking I can fix things. I was forever torn. Sadly my solution was turning to the bottle for comfort and that over time took over and consumed me.
My xh didn't necessarily spread rumors/stories but he was quite a liar. He told me one thing and others something else. I was caught out there way too many times to count. He would tell me he loved me and could be this amazing person when he felt it. Then he would turn on me and lie lie lie.
Point is that I also had access to his FB and pretty much everything so I snooped. I went as far as getting even for his stories he was saying to people that I deleted some people off his FB and so forth. Yeah, I needed to move on but I felt betrayed.
What ended up happening was long overdue.....divorce. Now that SOB is out of my life and I finally I am able to seek counseling and the support I needed to not only remain sober but to move beyond 9 years of pain and abuse.
You will find the strength my friend but you have to be ready for that. I have moved on and focused on me. I don't care anymore what people think and I tell ya it is only through sobriety that I am able to do this. Drinking was like reliving that nightmare daily.
When you are ready, you will let this go.
Huggs.