we all seek validation. we all do.
some of us, imo because of the lack of it from our primary caregivers (mom and dad) seek it from people that are unable to give it.
even when i knew - really knew - that my xabf LOVED me, CHERISHED me, and believed i was the best influence in his life, he was still unable to be the whole person i wanted him to be, and to give me those things in a relationship that are needed.
i don't think you've given him up yet. for some, it is a process. we take baby steps away from the person who is causing us to hurt. where are you at with this?