Draciack, I actually used alcohol for that too (dulling emotional pain). It started out innocently enough -- as a stay at home Mom trying to take the edge off a bad day -- but then over time became a serious problem. I got a divorce, then had a difficult breakup, and the emotional stuff got worse. The drinking got worse. What a cycle. If I had a bad or overwhelming day it was like a switch would go off in my brain that made me want to drink. Once that happened it was very hard to change my mind and I usually carried it through and drank. I think it's important to recognize all the things that made you want to drink and figure out other ways of dealing with them -- like the physical pain, the emotional pain, the emptiness, etc.
I just finished watching the 20/20 special on women and alcoholism. I had taped it and just got to watch it tonight. It was very good. This is a serious problem for many women, probably more than any of us realize because most people keep it a secret. A lot of the stuff about being a stay at home Mom and "drinking to take the edge off" hit home for me. That is when my drinking really got out of control. It's a powerful show if anyone has a chance to see it -- I think it's on the ABC website.
One thing that struck me as funny: one of the women who was an alcoholic had some very nice and concerned friends. They staged an intervention for her to try to help her. Elizabeth Vargus interviewed the friends and they said that their friend Tina had a serious problem with alcohol and doesn't even remember some of the things she has done while drunk. Elizabeth Vargus looked SHOCKED and said, "She doesn't even REMEMBER some things?" I was like, "DUH!!!!" I guess for people that are not alcoholic that would be a shocking statement, but it did not shock me in the least.
The two women they profiled were in much worse shape than I am, far worse, but I never want to get to that stage. The only way I can guarantee that is if I stop now. It was a good reality check.
Good night all and I'll check in this weekend!
Laura