Well, that's a really good newcomer topic for me, not just because we talk about "how do I handle being the only one not drinking" and all that a lot when we are new to being away from drinking, but also because of the deeper issues that come up and are tied to triggers when we over-think and stew about our character, motives, emotions and so on.
For me the idea that came up was the notion of selfishness - how we are/were selfish through drinking and now we are selfish through our mindset based on NOT drinking. It's like a trap to me, something I would want to avoid. Working on not drinking is worth the accusation of selfishness because it is along the lines of the importance of breathing. Who would be called selfish if they didn't want to wear a gas mask every day? The self-oriented priority in staying sober is a good selfish, and that's obvious to a lot of us.
By providing some kind of input to the event, you did what you could manage. I like the interaction between you and your husband, but I would also add that it would be good for you to remember through your own thoughts that you were doing well at managing a life situation with the tools and ability you had within your reach. To me, that needs to be at the top of the list for oneself. The self-esteem does not need to hear you let someone down and turned your nose up at work for your own benefit. We don't fuel addiction by allowing things to endanger our self-esteem, which needs to be like a body part in our mind (you don't let someone hit it or step on it).
Everybody has their own progress report on how they are doing with their sense of generosity and self-love. The reality for people who do not have the experience of addiction is not the only reality there is. They have their self-oriented agenda too for their own good reasons. So we prefer to put the fingers down and not point and get to the next best step in getting something done. In this case, alcohol was avoided for valid and sufficient reasons and contributions were made in lieu of the attendance and any naysaying about it needs to be CLAMMED up.
(Did you hear any pounding on the table?)
That's how I react to this.