Alcoholism isn't something we wish to have, it's forced upon us from whatever which way, it's just who we are. To the masses it is selfish and weak, those who have not experienced can not experience and therefore do not understand.
It is not your sister's fault that you are/were an alcoholic, it's not her fault she doesn't understand, and she does love and care for you, I can only imagine that she is venting her frustration at past exploits. However, not giving you vital support is selfish of her, even if she probably doesn't see it herself.
You say you haven't been there for her much lately, maybe in time she'll realise that you mean it this time and she'll be there for you.
Your husband is good for staying strong and believing in you, you can thank your stars for him being there. Keep proving him and yourself right, and others will come.
The most important part is if you feel that going to the charity dance is detrimental to your recovery
DO NOT GO, not for your sister, not for anyone. Do what you think is right, you know best.
Good luck, God bless.
