When I turned my focus inward and began doing things to better my emotional, physical, and spiritual well being rather than doing things that would keep XABF from being upset he felt the change immediately.
Looking back I see all the things I used to do and all the ways I used to work around him, massaging his ego, assuring him, keeping myself on a short leash so he wouldn't be upset or jealous. My little circle of freedom got smaller and smaller as his paranoia and anger got worse and worse.
By focusing on me I stopped doing all those things and expanded my freedom and all his issues that I kept managed started to run wild. During this time he continued to drink heavily and began to spiral downward. In your case your Addict is experiencing all of these things without the affects of alcohol which makes me think he's not in recovery at all or failing miserably at managing his emotions without the booze.
You keep doing what you have been doing. Do not let the crazy quacking throw you off. He is trying to get you to question yourself in every way possible. Put those earmuffs on and don't listen!!
Alice