I just got criticized, pretty much yelled at and walked out on AGAIN for taking meds. By someone who has NO IDEA what it's like for me to have made this concession to begin with, and what it was like to live untreated. I have told this individual I have Tourette's Syndrome- a MAJOR source of humiliation for me growing up, ridiculed by my own family- they would even do things to set off the tics so they could all have a laugh... OCD and ADD not to mention anxiety and depression all go hand in hand with this disorder, quite commonly. At this point, I don't even know what to say. I have 12 days sober. He is on day three. I was kind enough not to point out that his drinking is nothing less than self medicating. He is convinced that I just need to run off and ski in the mountains or go paint on a beach in Spain. Really? Who DOES NOT want to live like that? Just because his situation has been different than mine and he has been able to live a freer life style- he thinks he is all knowing when it comes to how others need to live. He was not burdened with a student loan as I was for 13 years. That in itself limited my freedom. I've never had a well paying job to afford me much freedom or mental health treatment BECAUSE of the OCD (I suffer from a hair pulling disorder as well- it demolished my self esteem and I have many times avoided better jobs and many social situations because of it) and also depression- which I was too numb to even recognize until I was lying in a bathtub drunk, on xanax and had opened myself with a razor. Because I had a traumatic upbringing- no that it makes me special or different but it affected my ability to work in the world and I have been WANTING help for many, many years- thanks to our wonderful health care system here in the USA I had to be jobless and institutionalized before it was deemed appropriate that I obtain affordable mental healthcare. It's been a long hard road to get here and I can't even wrap my mind around someone I've just met telling me how I should be doing things. I'm sick of it. I'm sick to death of arrogance.
And I am so beyond tired of people telling me that there's nothing wrong with me- because they are judging what they see and know nothing of what I HAVE LIVED.
