Need HELP!!!
I made mess again. I don't know if I should write this in another thread I have going on (Told AH I want a divorce), but I don't know what I'm doing and need some help ASAP.
This morning I woke up and went into bedroom (I don't sleep there any more) and I looked at AH, he was so skinny under the sheets, only bones and skin, and there was this small bloody stain on the pillow (?). I lost it, and started talking again he needs to see a doctor, he's killing himself, he has responsibility to our kids, and the rest, as you can imagine. He kept saying no, he doens't want to, he's not ready to do that.
I coulnd't bear the feelings of letting him continue killing himself. I told him I'm taking our son to the school, and when I come back I'm calling his mother and telling her everything, so he'll have her on his case. MIL is really in denial about whole thing + she didn't see him in a while, so she has no idea how he looks right now. But she is kind of person that makes everything about herself, so she's likely to get on his case to see a doctor and wouldn't let go.
So now I'm back home, he's gone out, and I'm thinking what am I doing here?
Do I really want to call her?
I don't know what to do.
I'm having a panic attack here and can't calm down.
A month ago I treathened to do same thing and he went angry with me ( he never usually does regardless of what I do) and told me I have no right to do that and upset his mum.
Which made me angry and I thought f*** you and your mother, I'm done with a lot of you.
But now I can not think clearly, it's like he's dieing and I'm dwelling whether I do I CPR or not, as that is how this feels like.
I'm getting crazy here. AM I being codie here or just human? What do I do???
Please help