First I want to say that I have been reading and lurking here for about two months. You are all so wonderful and supportive that I finally got up the nerve to post. (actually nerve the second time....my first post go lost somewhere
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I will try to make this brief so that it doesn't overwhelm anyone.
I have been involved with my bf for almost two years now and he has an AS who is 19. He probably could not have used those words three months ago but in the last 6 months has come to the realization that his son's problems are extremely serious. In December I clearly set my own boundries around the situation and stipulated that if his son was high, checked out, overtly angry/aggressive, disrespectful I refused to be around him. (I have a bit of experience having had an alcoholic father) Had to follow through a few times by leaving in the middle of the night and electing not to spend time with my bf. Thankfully he respected me for my convictions and none of this has ever caused any difficulties between us.
To the point: AS got himself into some serious trouble by going on a drug induced rampage at college that got him kicked out and charged with a couple of felony assault charges. BF obtained a lawyer. Prosecutor agreed to time in rehab counting as time served. At the advice of the lawyer AS went to rehab (after much negotiation not to....but bf made it clear that was the only option he was willing to support) and missed his third court date. Court then issued a bench warrant and bf may have to forfeit his bond; even though he was told this was a formality and not to worry.
After one week in rehab (this is a long term program geared towards young adults) AS decides he want to leave as this is "not the right place for me". Center calls to warn dad and when he gets the come and save me call from the AS just restates his position that this is all he sill support and if he decides not to stay he is on his own. Kid stays after trying to negotiate - threatens to commit suicide etc. Now two weeks later during a parental followup call with the Center bf is advised that AS is trying to get himself kicked out by becoming intimately involved with someone in the program. They know this because AS told them this is what he is trying to do. Huh?
I know that addicts in early recovery do not necessarily think logically but this makes no sense to me. I guess I am looking for some advice here on what to expect. Does anyone have any experience with this type of behavior? Just looking for a benchmark on what is normal and what may be coming next.
Appreciate any feedback or advice; thank you in advance!