Ciggarettes, OT ......
Hi SR buddies, been so dang busy w/ finals for school this past week, couldn't find time to post.
BUT
I tried, realllllllllllllllly tried to quit smoking. (ciggs) nothing illegal! (the little sober one over here.)
However, tonight... i just had enough.
Between parenting, finals, work, laundry, housework, workingout like crazy, (getting ready for beach weather dieting) etc.... i had a nice martini...... then came the ciggarette. I had made it 3 weeks. Over the hump. Over the physical withdrawls of nicotine. THREE DANG WEEKS, and I blew it... as i sit here typing and smoking.
WTF?
Is this waht addicts feel?
Granted Ciggarettes don't cause me to lie, cheat, or steal. They don't change my personality, etc.
BUT they are horrible to my health......... and all the other 'stuff' we know about smoking. So why? I don't know. Just wanted one. Just felt like "hey I deserve ONE friggin guilty pleasure in life".......................
Is this horrible?
I feel like this is what my dirtbag, (hee hee) *not nice I know* abf feels....... when he has got sober before and slipped.
Is it the same?
Why do I feel so guilty, and still want to do it.
Love u all
Hope you all are doing well,
Love and HUGS,
cess