Hey Hal, thanks for sharing that, Feels better to get it all out don't you think?
My last binge started on a Thursday night when I headed out 'for a couple of pints' much like you did there on Friday. I finally managed to drag myself away from the booze around dinner time on the Monday so I understand totally how easy it is to stumble into a bender when you've went out with the best intentions.
Fear, depression, anxiety, flashbacks (sometimes to things that never even happened), shaking, wretching crying are all well trodden paths for me also and, having lived in Ireland and Scotland, I know too well the societal and cultural pressures and practices that are thrown in to this God awful mix. I'm 28 too - your whole post could more or less have been written by me.
It's a shame about your GF's attitude but you never know how that'll develop. I'm only in very early recovery myself and don't feel that I have any real wisdom to impart except to say that taking things a small step at a time seems to be working well for me and I'll be on thirty days sober in a few hours.
Adh mór a Chara.