i'm sorry as well. i know that, as a parent, no words could describe the horrific pain of losing a child. but, i gotta say, second to that, this is surely the most painful thing to go through. there are layers of emotions involved, all wrapped up in hurt.
i think many of us could identify with the thread that
jenny1232 mentioned. i paste it here for your convenience.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...d-my-eyes.html
i think it is very easy to overly romanticize the failed relationship when we're sitting with this. but you do know all of the trouble that was caused inside the relationship while you're still together. was this man, who was so uncommitted, near perfect in every way except that he had a history of drug use? is there something you can learn from the relationship, and your role in it? to not take with you in the rest of your life?
i'm not saying that to nail you, or rake you over the coals. i just hope that, even in your grief, you might be able to see the many ways that this was destined to end one day. i don't know your situation, or any details, just know that life with an addict is hard hard hard.
peace,