I'm sorry Avenell - that sounds awful.
It was an organic thing for me - once I made it clear I was serious, lots of people dropped off - but others came back, and I made new friends too...
On a side note, I found I became a lot more confident in myself, and comfortable in my own company.
It is rough going through that, but it pretty much all works out
Reading your post I have to say the guy you mention doesn't sound like he'd be such a great loss?
D