This particular chapter is helping not only with my communication by also how I respond to others. I just realized that it's not only what is said, but also how it's said, i.e. tone of voice. Once again using my mom as my mirror... she tends to be not only highly judgemental but her tone of voice is very sharp. She triggers me almost constantly, between judgement, passive/aggressive and tone of voice... she almost always sounds accusing, demanding. I used to have a boss like that, there was no pleasing her, and I was constantly triggered. (Like the boss in The Devil Wears Prada. Could've been my story verbatim!). I used to think that recovery would help me blow off these types of triggers. But if they are constant... I can't. And maybe with recovery I'm realizing that in those instances... it's ok to walk away and not engage in that dysfunctional type of communication, remove myself from those constant triggers. Meanwhile... I'll continue to work on my own communication skills: being direct. Say what I mean and mean what I say. And definitely watching my tone of voice, although in that regard, I know I've gone the opposite direction so maybe I need to be a little more firm sometimes. It's all a balancing act!
thanks for the chance to process and help me continue this work.
e