((((Hopeless wife))) I totally agree w/learn2live. I know it sounds cold and callous, especially when you AH wants the help, but having been there, done that with my RAH and daughter, you need to leave it to them to do the work. Think about it, rehab is easy. I know they don't make it sound like it, but hey, if you could go away for a month, talk to counselors and in groups all day about what a mess your life has become, and walk away with the tools to handle life on life's terms, wouldn't it be great!!!! but A's make it sound like it's torture!!! Oh, poor them, and you don't know what they have to go thru.... well what about what you've had to go thru???? If it were me (and it was) let him do the work and you work on you. JMHO.