I finally see the light
Well after 15 yrs of marriage to a crack addict, I am finally feeling strong enough to end this relationship.
After all these years of crack addiction, stealing, cheating, lying etc....I have finally had enough.
Last month I was visiting a friend for the weekend because I have learned that I am not putting my life on a shelf to take care of him. Anyway, I was 2 hours away from my house and I realized that I left my rent money in the house. Granted it was "hidden" but I couldn't believe I had been that absent minded to leave that behind. I didn't turn around, something inside me said not to. I was going to pray that he didn't find it and enjoy my weekend.
The weekend went well I had a great time with only a few "anxiety attacks" about the rent. On my way home I had a sinking feeling in my gut that the money was gone but I keep my cool.
Needless to say, as soon as I came in the house I knew it wasn't there. I went straight to the "hiding place" and it was moved so I knew. I was so
disgusted that he would actually do this. (as if I didn't know)
When he finally came home he was "so sorry" and "couldn't believe he spent it" blah blah. Then he said "don't worry, I will make it up" and then it happened..........before I realized what I was saying I said "don't bother, this is my way out and I am taking it!"
Wow, I couldn't believe I said it! Yay for me. It just brought back a lot of strength that I thought was gone a long time ago. The next day I went to a nice apt complex and filled out an application and I am now on the waiting list which should be about 6 months.
I told him that if he continued help pay for the bills he could stay until that time, but the minute he treats me poorly, stops with the bills or takes anything from this house he is out the door.
I feel good, I am starting to pack. Its nice to have this much time to pack at my own pace. I will be fare with him with our belongings.
Don't get me wrong I still love him and I always will. I wish nothing but happiness for him and I want to stay in contact with him, but I know I am done with the relationship!
A new life waits for me and I am excited and scared at the same time! :day6
Last edited by Kabella; 04-24-2010 at 04:56 AM.
Reason: left out a word