Great thread. I have learned much from each post. My wife and i are together again after being divorced 5 yrs (had been married 13). We talk, we share, I go to meetings, she is considering Al-anon. I work with my sponsor with the things I can't readily share with her. I found this out the hard way! In the beginning, after we got back together, we were all about sharing everything, not a good idea. There were things she could simply not understand or identify with. We COMMUNICATE! In the past we didn't, the cloud of denial hung thick in the atmosphere of our lives.
I work with young men with addiction and behavioral problems. It is my way of giving back and learning a new profession. My wife is a RN and together we do well. We have certain boundaries about money and responsibilities. We work together towards a better life together. I take responsibility for my actions, past and present. She has every right to be mad, skeptical, etc. We keep our eyes open and live each day to the best of our abilities. Some are better than others, for certain. But we have been given a rare gift, for which we are both grateful.
When people get married because they think it's a long-time love affair, they'll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment. But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.
Joseph Campbell
Maybe this will help a little.
Peace