You don't get the anger, Scott? Really? What does your sponsor say when you tell him that?
I take it you don't understand the "givens" thing, either..... Not to mention the fact that you were unavailable when you were drunk and now unavailable because you are out at meetings. Yes, it sucks, but is much more of a sucky situation for her.
There's no quick fix. I take it you have gone over this in your recovery in relation to your drinking behaviors. Same applies here. Except you've also got a real live human being to deal with.
Some of you guys on here sound like you don't like your wives much anymore. Why is that they were good enough for you to allow them to hold the fort whilst you got on with whatever it was you had to do when you were drinking and now you have no patience for them?