Originally Posted by anvilhead

i know when i have been hurt by someone, oh let's say when my husband at the time took what he could in a laundry basket and left me for the woman i considered my BEST friend at the time....FORGIVENESS was not the first thing that came to mind! hit the thesaurus on all the synonyms for hurt, upset, p!ssed and sad and insert them here.

wasn't right for him to leave me like that. BUT HE DID. there were a LOT more dynamics at play than the simple act of him walking out the door that day.

turns out he never really wanted to MARRY me in the first place...i got pregnant, we'd been split up at the time no less, we weren't even sure we REALLY wanted to be together anymore, but the parents......you know how parents are and next thing ya know we are ALL getting on a plane and flying to Reno and wah lah we're married.

turns out that ring he had just given me at Christmas, the pretty little solataire diamond that sat so proudly on my finger...my MOTHER bought the damn thing and wrapped it up and conned Brian into saying it was from HIM and he went along cuz you just didn't cross my mother.......

turns out they ended up being a much better fit, those two, together 20 years.

i learned over time he didn't do what he did to HURT ME, he did what he did cuz that's where his road took him. it wasn't personal. and here's the kicker...it wasn't about ME at all.

for as long as we REFUSE to let go of what THEY did to us, THEY still hold power over us. the longer we stay locked into the mindset of HOW DARE THEY the longer we will be STUCK back there on the day they did.

life is just too damn short to try and remember why i'm mad at people and all the hurts and indignities i've suffered. seriously, i ain't THAT important...so once upon a time somebody did something and i was no longer the center of their universe and my fee-fee's got hurt. the ONLY person that matters to is me........the planet never even slowed down. they didn't hold Tess's Broken Heart Day, nobody gives a damn.

for me i need to be bigger than the events that transpired. i'm like the airlines, gotta pay for EVERY piece of extra luggage, so i tend to pack light....take forward with me only what i need and have USE for.....i don't take my photo album from my last vacation in the suitcase for my NEXT vacation. i leave the china and the bank statements home.

every choice we make has a price. what is THIS choice costing you? how much head space does HE still rent? what's the payoff for refusing to let it go?