great imagery thumper, i like that.
i've just got home and he has just called my mobile. i ignored it. I want to know if he has sobered up and whether he is going to apologise for being such a **** but I doubt it on both counts. I am going to give it another hour or so and then see how I feel if he calls again. he might send me a text or leave a message if he cant get hold of me and if he is just wondering whether i got safely home or something (doubt it again) then i will just text to say i am ok as I wouldn't want to worry someone if they are genuinely concerned.
its hard ignoring his calls - i keep thinking of that sweet sober guy he can be, saying lovely things to me - but that can't be who he is right now because of the alcohol he drunk earlier and he could still be drinking now for all i know. thing is, i want to know. But knowing wouldn't help. Urgh, this is hard and it make me feel pathetic becuase its so hard.
going to eat and do some hobby stuff tonight until bed. I'll keep checking on here too in case there are any more words of wisdom that can make this any less uncomfortable!