I agree with Rev too - there's alot of wisdom in these SR rooms - it's great to open up like you did too - it lessens the weight of carrying all that confusion around in your head and on your shoulders.
I used to love the brief times I was sober too and always felt worse and worse each time I drank afterwards, wondering why, why, why???
My answers came from an outpatient counselor who changed my life (with the same experience as Littlefish's therapist). He helped me to overcome my fear of the unknown (life without alcohol) and how to build a purposeful life in recovery.
I saw him at night, so there was no daytime schedule interference. Check with your local community rehabs to see what options fit your needs.
You are a significant woman, mother, spouse, daughter, friend, etc. - you have nothing to lose by talking to a counselor. You're worth it. Be well.