Somehow the lesson is that pretending to live hurts less than actually living. Maybe alkie parents? who knows. After my year long analysis of XABF I determined it came from his mom's death and the denial of any mourning on his family.
With alcohol you pretend you moved on. You're OK with someone. You pretend you don't give a damn.
With alcohol you pretend you are happy.
You pretend you're popular.
You pretend you're funny.
You pretend strangers around are close friends.
You pretend you are sexually fulfilled.
You pretend you enjoy life more than anyone else.
Like those flashy pieces of jewelry that are fake but you only notice it when you get close to the shop.