Ronan, great news that you've seen the light. As an older person, I can confirm what you already know - trying to moderate leads you down a dangerous & deadly path. I tried it for many years - insisting it was just a matter of willpower. Like you, I was desperate to continue drinking, couldn't imagine my life without it. Never once did I succeed in controlling it. In the end, I almost lost my life - but I also lost years that should have been wonderful and productive. This never has to happen to you!