Hey
That is so inspiring Aysha- you are one strong lady. I can tell you from experience that I had around 3 or so months sober (for the first time in my life since 15ish) last year- I am mid 40s. I felt fantastic but fragile. I felt like I finally had control, real control. Then I pretty much dropped the atom bomb and decided to have a couple (around 3) beers one day. I stopped at 3, and guess what- I am totally back on my old habits (quite a bit less but it still OWNS me).
Hang in my Friend. I am trying hard now to get to where you are- don't take it for granted......
Peace and Love
Dub