Yes ~ I am trying to make the leap and it is hard but I like you am not getting younger.
Last son leaves for college in the Fall- then what for me living with this man ? I keep giving him chances over and over and he tries but he always falls back. It gets ok- I say I can do this - then I feel so lonely. I like you think is there someone out there for me? But the leap is scary. I asked AH to move out Friday to his folks down the street and he did - when he came back today to get his things of course I feel pangs of remorse. What if there is not someone for me but him? I can't believe that and I don't believe that for you. The trust gets to where it can't be rebuilt and then the resentment comes and for me the hatred. I don't want to hate him or anyone. It is all mind blowing and I have to stay on track one day at a time. One day .....Wake up deal with today.... Enjoy it...Spend time with kids and dogs and enjoy the simple. Enjoy peace and no yelling and no building every damn minute of our life around beer. I AM SO SICK OF IT! Now it means I am not allowed on my boat all summer- The boat I have written a check for the past 5 years. Nice huh? That bothers me - that sounds petty - but my sons and I love to boat - we live on the water and are we just gonna watch eveyone pull away on their boats all summer while we sit there. WTH? Oh well- I wish you strength and peace - You will know when you are ready- It will be hard - but I have to believe it will be better.