It's been awhile.....

Old 04-11-2010, 11:18 AM
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It's been awhile.....

It's been awhile since I have posted anything here. Our life was moving forward, I thought, in a better pattern. We were talking (somewhat ), he was feeling better about work, life in general, etc. He had stopped going to AA meetings, however. That lead to a bout of drinking again, when we had guests staying with us...my daughter's friends from college were here over spring break. The trust I had started to feel crumbled again. So now, he's going to another type of meeting...came back really jazzed about it. Committed...this time it will work, so on and so forth.

So, when do I stop falling back into the rut of thinking he can change? When do I finally jerk my head out of the sand and stop taking him back? My therapist thinks if I keep my emotional distance, I can survive and know when is the right time to leave him....In the meantime, I am not getting any younger. If someone is out there for me to learn to love and trust right now,or in the future, when will I be able to take the leap? Is there anyone with this same feeling????
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Old 04-11-2010, 02:08 PM
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Yes ~ I am trying to make the leap and it is hard but I like you am not getting younger.
Last son leaves for college in the Fall- then what for me living with this man ? I keep giving him chances over and over and he tries but he always falls back. It gets ok- I say I can do this - then I feel so lonely. I like you think is there someone out there for me? But the leap is scary. I asked AH to move out Friday to his folks down the street and he did - when he came back today to get his things of course I feel pangs of remorse. What if there is not someone for me but him? I can't believe that and I don't believe that for you. The trust gets to where it can't be rebuilt and then the resentment comes and for me the hatred. I don't want to hate him or anyone. It is all mind blowing and I have to stay on track one day at a time. One day .....Wake up deal with today.... Enjoy it...Spend time with kids and dogs and enjoy the simple. Enjoy peace and no yelling and no building every damn minute of our life around beer. I AM SO SICK OF IT! Now it means I am not allowed on my boat all summer- The boat I have written a check for the past 5 years. Nice huh? That bothers me - that sounds petty - but my sons and I love to boat - we live on the water and are we just gonna watch eveyone pull away on their boats all summer while we sit there. WTH? Oh well- I wish you strength and peace - You will know when you are ready- It will be hard - but I have to believe it will be better.
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Old 04-11-2010, 03:32 PM
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Quote (( Now it means I am not allowed on my boat all summer- The boat I have written a check for the past 5 years.))

If you have paid for it, why can't you and your boys use it?
Can you put a legal lien on it, til Mr I Want it All, pays out for it?

Does this freeloader, really and truly believe you and the world owes him a living...and in luxury?

Please tell me he is a one off in his family, that they all aren't like him.....too scary.

God bless
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Old 04-11-2010, 04:18 PM
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RedHeadSusie-Thank you...it sounds as if you and I share a lot in common. If you can move on enjoying the simple things in life, I know I can do it too. Good luck. Keep me posted on how life is going for you. I will keep you in my thoughts!
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Old 04-11-2010, 07:46 PM
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Nothing wrong with getting on with your life and telling him to catch up with you once he gets his together.
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