Kitty, I know those "interactions" and it hurts when you remember some "good times" where it seemed there were great feelings in between you two.
Anything you do or don't do, when its related to a jerk, is used against you. The only way to win is not to play. Anything at all will be twisted to protect the addiction, to keep it intact. I got sick of it all.
Now things are not pink for me but at least I interact with people who also live in reality. Its already difficult as it is, now with addiction, denial, etc its just impossible to get something fruitful.
Precisely for that Mr Hyde is why many of us go No contact and stay that way. As great as their good qualities would seem (like their extraordinary acting skills), nothing makes up for the pain..
Karate, sports etc get my anger out with the advantage of making me feel and look and sleep better.
Hugs!!