thanks everyone for the boundary advice. He did call and didn't even mention what had happened. When I asked if he got home ok after hanging up earlier he told me he didn't hang up. What a load of crap. I have decided that a boundary for me now is not to engage in conversation with him on the phone when he is drinking - if he calls I will answer but get out of the conversation as quickly as possible without being rude or saying why. He knows why. He knows I don't want him to drink and he knows I dont like talking to him or being around him when he's drinking. When I see him sober I may tell him my boundary, but I may not. I will see if I feel it will help me. I hate talking to him when he's drinking so I'm not going to do it anymore. As for seeing him when he's drinking, he doesn't usually want me there anyway but sometimes he conceals it and its only obvious when I get to his house - in that case I guess I would have to leave and go home again - but I know that would cause an argument which I dont want, so I guess I could leave it up to my discretion and do whatever feels right for me at the time (maybe while he falls asleep, I could use the internet, watch tv, read or just go home and leave a note) - that is the healthy way isn't it?
He sounds like he's drinking early again today (not 100% sure) and I am supposed to be going to his house tonight so I think this is a great opportunity to enforce my new boundaries, and I'm feeling good about that at the moment.