Don't worry Burnsey..you are not alone, I have been attending aa for a year now off and on...but a lot more on than off, probably did 200 metings.
I still don't get it either, I am paranoid that pople don't like me and that they are talking about me behind my back, I am as it says in the book "Glum" thats where I am right now, but the few freinds I have there say that it will get better, but this "life beyond my wildest dreams" sounds like a fairy story. I have had the same sponser for 10 months now, but we have not got past step one becuase of all my relapses. I an stuck between a rock and a hard place, and JUST FOR ME...I am cosidering alternatives to aa now and have stopped going to meetings as of yesterday, I will be seeing a shrink soon and my doc has put me on some "Happy Pills" to keep me going
Good Luck to you