...
I feel terrible. Nice way to start a thread, huh.
I've been all over the place lately - emotionally. I'm not depressed, nor in any kind of danger, and there's no way in hell I'd drink right now.
But I'm overwhelmed with what I can only identify as grief - I feel like I've lost something and can't get it back. If I only knew what it was... like when you notice that a book is missing, but only because there's an empty space on the shelf where it should be.
A very painful and raw emptiness.
My pdoc encouraged me to reach out, as she acknowledges just how important SR is to me. It's part of the recovery process... She wants me to embrace my losses + kiss them goodbye, like letting go of the old so that the new can flourish and make me feel alive again. It does sound nice.
Just needed to vent..
It all just hurts so very much right now.