Well first lets agree that you have no idea how happy people are behind closed doors no matter what they present to you in AA, on SR or passing in the street...you won't be able to see people for how they really are until you understand yourself which is working the steps.
I did the dry drunk thing for 5 months last year and anyone you asked would say that i was happy go lucky and would comment i wish i was like cliff nothing gets him down and he has everything going for him! Inside i was dead and wanted to die!
So get a sponsor and work the steps already;-)
As Dee says don't compare your insides to everybody elses outsides, very few people portray how they really are and feel, and any fool can act out being happy and positive...you are a bit lost IMO so take some action!