Originally Posted by
wifeofadrinker 
He later told me a story about a friend of his that divorced her angry, drinking husband and two years later he went to her house and killed her. They just went to the funeral.
Ugh. He said it was just something to keep in mind - that she never thought he'd be violent.
In July 2008 my XAH had a screaming fit and I thought he was going to hit me. He didn't, but I told some people in a forum (which he read because he's cyberstalked me for years--every wave to Bozo, he'll be reading this shortly, I'm sure), and I told our marital therapist.
XAH was oh, sooooooo upset. He'd never do anything like that, he'd
never even think of doing anything like that. He'd
never been violent to a woman ever. How
could I? Oh, what a victim he was,
Well, 15 months later, in another screaming fit, he shoved me against the refrigerator. That was the end for us.
But I have no doubt if I had listened to his suddenly reasonable pleading, 'Please, Bucyn, don't do this, please don't do this" while I was dialing 911, that sooner or later he would have smacked me, then kicked me (like he kicked his kid), and finally would have ended up beating me.
I knew he was capable of violence against me in July 2008. He was sure he wasn't. I proved to be correct.
People who are out of control in one area of their lives, eventually get out of control in all areas of their lives.
I've shared before that I have had two alkie husbands. I left my first one on Halloween 1996. In April 2001 I got a visit at the front door from the police; it appeared my 1XAH had had a fight with his girlfriend and had somehow thought it had something to do with me and they didn't know where he was, but wanted to warn me to be careful.
Ummm...okay.
It turned out that my 1XAH went in a different direction with his frenzy than come after me. Apparently he'd been drunk, had a fight with his GF, it was her house, so she threw him out, he refused to leave, so she called 911 to get the drunken man out of her house, and while she was on the phone with them, he picked up a knife and slashed his own throat. Then he jumped in a car and drove off. How any of this involved me 5 years after the break up is beyond me, I'm sure somehow my name came up since the GF told the police he was coming to my house, but i was glad i'd been given a head's up.
Turned out later, he stopped at an ATM, then check into a motel and slept it off. They found him a couple days later and baker acted him. His throat wound was obviously superficial.
Messed up people desperate for a source of enablement, will reach back through everyone they know until they find someone who will rescue them from the problems they've made for themselves. As they run out of people accessible in their current lives, they reach back into their pasts looking for scapegoats and rescuers.