You are not alone.
This site is a lifesaver. Sometimes during the day and night when I suffer - I think of the answers I read on this forum and it pulls me through . If I can go off-topic a while: my STBXAH and I are separated 2 years. Last night I got the little boy voicemails and I did not call back. Tries to get me back into rescuing. I did not respond. I learnt to detach and to look after myself by studying this board. We all have been more or less through the same drama.
Take care of you
Hugs