I too envisioned something similar, but for me I'd pictured my AH as a weight that pulled us all down. Both kids and I. I'd pictured myself swimming for the 4 of us, even though he was fully capable of swimming on his own. In the end, I had to either cut the ties and save the 3 of us (kids and I) OR let us all go down with the ship.
I choose to cut the ties. It's not a blunt cut, but maybe a strand @ a time, but I'm cutting it. If I don't, I know we'll all sink. As their mom, I will not do that to them.
I struggle with the whole 'leave the fallen behind' thing, BUT he's chosen to remain down. He's had every chance, opportunity to get himself better, well.
I know where you're @. Choose yourself, choose life.