I guess that's what's so hard for me to separate. I *know* when he told me he cared for me, he was sorry, etc - he meant it on some level. I know this. Without a doubt. I could see it in his eyes, I could feel it in how he'd touch me. I realize that sounds romanticized, but it's true. We used to talk about what kind of wedding napkins we'd have, heh. Going from that to him telling me, "I dont know why you called me, dont you have someone else you can call that's not 3,000 mi away?" Just some of the most hurtful sh*t you can think of, and it's like.. what did I do to deserve that? I've only ever loved and cared for you, and you hate me for it. It's just not even the same guy.
