I don't know the answer either, but I think it applies to everyone, not just A's. My grandfather was an alcoholic all his life. In his 70's, the doctor told him he better quit drinking and smoking if he wanted to go on living. He did. My grandmother continued to tell him what to do, when to eat, what to wear, etc. for the rest of his life. She never got out of the caretaker/enabler role. When he died at age 83, she lost her only purpose in life. The whole town came to his funeral, as well as many relatives from far away. When she died 2 years later, my mom and her husband were the only ones in attendance at her funeral.
She died a bitter, angry old woman without any friends, and only one of her two daughters even came to say goodbye. It was one of the events that made me realize I didn't want to live that life. She 'stood by' my grandpa her whole life, through all the bad times, and all she got was the horrid life of a martyr.
L