Hey there, Meat. Welcome to SR.
I've been where you're at with drinking no longer working its 'magic' and feeling more and more depressed and hopeless after each bender.
I got the feeling from reading your post that those weeks and months of not drinking were simply that - not drinking, as opposed to living in recovery and there's a huge difference between the two.
AA is not for everybody. When I got seriously sober (when I got it), AA helped me just by being with people who understood what I was going through. Support is really, really important.
I also saw a counselor too and I credit him for saving my life. He was a man in recovery himself for many many years and also professionally trained in alcoholism treatment (known as a LADAC - licensed alcohol and drug abuse counselor). He helped me to build a foundation for living a life in recovery, as opposed to just puttin' a plug in the jug so to speak.
My depression was linked to my alcoholism - don't know if yours is or not - but alcohol being a depressant itself, when I eliminated that, things really got better.
Glad you're here. There's lots of support here to help in your journey. Look forward to hearing from you! There most definitely is life after alcohol and it can be amazing!