Newagain - it's wonderful you joined us. This a very good thing you're doing. Everything can be turned around. You have the love & support of your husband, and you're going to repair things before you lose each other. Alcohol tore my marriage apart long ago - and we had been a very happy couple. We'd have terrible arguments & in the morning no one remembered what they were about. What a waste. Neither of us ever acknowledged what the real problem was. It's great that you recognize drinking is causing chaos in your life.
Your husband is probably relieved to hear you apologize & admit there's been a problem. It's hard for us to explain to our "normies" what alcohol does to us - how it changes us and destroys the good in us. This never needs to happen to you. Keep telling us about yourself & let us know how it's going. We care about you.