Originally Posted by newagain

Okay, Deep Breath. Hello my name is....and i believe i am an alcoholic. until recently i thought being an alcoholic was staying drunk 24/7. i did not realize that if you drink every night, and still got up and went to work and functioned fine that you could still be an alcoholic. but i have tried to quit and to no avail. i am causing problems in my marriage, i am depressed, i feel like i am going to loose my mind--i feel like i am going crazy. i feel like if i quit drinking, then my life will start putting itself back together. I believe in God, but really do not pray. I have read where having a relationship with God is instrumental in beating this problem. when i do pray i do not feel a "connection" I feel like i am just talking to the air. I thought when you prayed that there was some sort of life changing sign from God, and I have not had that.

Not real sure what i am asking here, just wanted to get this out in the open. i confessed to my husband this morning that i have a problem and was very scared because i have tried to stop but i haven't been able to. last night was a very bad night for us. i really do not remember much of what i said, but i know i hurt him. this was not the first night we have had like this, there have been many. when i told him this morning that i was ashamed of myself and i was very sorry for last night, he just held me tighter than he has ever held me before and would not let me go.