m1sgt

Just to give a brief history on my background...Was in the military for 9 years. 2 deployments to Iraq. First deployment was hell. 2003 the initial war on Iraq itself. I managed to make it threw it. The second deployment was a whole new ballgame. We were no longer fighting uniformed soldiers. It was insurgents who blend in and hide. 2005 Luhtafia Iraq just south of FOB st. mike. And IED exploded on the HUMVVEE, flipped over and landed on the roof. I broke my back in 3 places, that was the first time I had ever been giving a pain killer. I.V morphine. Thats all it took...I was med evaced to bahgdad and was sent home for several sergeries. Now my back is on big metal rod...after i was medicaly discharged in late 2006. I have been taking every kind of pain killer I can get. I somehow overtime built up a very large tolerance for oxycodone. I have been taking roughly 20-30 oxy 10mg. a day. I have fallen into a cycle of using as much as I can get and then going through the withdrawals. It’s a cycle that has been going on for 4 years now...today is day 2 for me dealing with the withdrawl deamons. And as everyone knows is the worst. I did go 3 weeks once and then hurt my back... Went to the E.R and that’s all it took. Anyway I feel as though i have lost my life to drugs. This has to be the hardest thing I have had to do in my life. I sit and try to remember what it was like before drugs. And I miss that person. My wife misses that person also. So this has to be it for me.. I have to take control and due what I know needs to be done in order to get my life back again.