scared tomorrow
went to the bar friday with coworkers. i have a rule never to drink with coworkers. they all know about my drinking and tolerate me, i guess.
serious black out drunk. no idea how i got home. woke up, my car wasn't in the front so i took the bus back to the bar. car was where i parked it. sometimes i'm pretty smart even when drunk.
massive flooding in bathroom. no recollection of what happened. and here's the scary part - (very) shallow wounds on my hand. one looks like a fork stab and the other is just a puncture. they are shallow so i don't think any attacked me out of anger. some bruising too.
did i do something at the bar?
am i going to get fired tomorrow?
it's illogical to worry about it. but after hitting it hard last night as well as friday night, i'm having massive panic attacks all day today.
it's frustrating because things are looking very good for me in the immediate future. i should enjoy it, instead i just panic panic panic panic.
trying to resist going to the bar to make everything ok. i could go for just one beer right? i've never once gone for "just one beer."
oh well, i guess i'll know in 24 hours if i'm fired or not. and if i'm not and i'm still having a panic attack, i'll find something else pointless to worry about tomorrow