Hey Cindi! Babs and everyone... I just saw the thread.... I remember the Loved ones in prison thread... like Babs said.. it was my lifeline for a longtime as well.
My STBexAH's doc was meth. He got into trouble, was arrested, JAIL... (His sister and I bailed him out) then he got off on probation and as part of the sentence the judge allowed him to go to a year long Christian rehab... we got along so well during this year, were so close.... once he graduated he did good for maybe 6-9months afterward. Started hanging with the same old friends... relapsed, failed drug test & violated probation...jail (I bailed him out again) then ordered to a 30 day state rehab in the beautiful NC mountains.
A positive is we got to see the beautiful mountain scenery on visitation weekends. LOL
After 30 day rehab... did good for a while.. then relapsed, probation violation... jail...
(yes I bailed him out again and I used the same bail bondsman each time... this time he told me I should leave him in... I said I would next time.)... and this time he was ordered to a 90 day state rehab.
Did good for a while... then ... you guessed it.. relapse again. failed test... no more chances left... this time they were going to activate his 2 year prison sentence. So, he absconded... he was on intensive probation and had a 6pm curfew. He stayed away until he came by one day and fell asleep and the po caught him at home and arrested him. This time I left him in there. I wished I had found this site years before... I was naive about addiction and thought bailing him out was what I was supposed to do.. that it was a terrible place to leave him. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say and if I had it to do all over again, I may have bailed him out once, but once would be my limit.
The loved ones in prison thread was a place I felt safe posting here when my ex was in prison. There's so many feelings to work through.. it was nice sharing them with others with similar situations.
I'm thankful for SR in general too... I learned about co-dependency, enabling, boundaries, etc. Today, my mind is much healthier than it was living with active addiction. It has been a year and a half since I asked him to leave.
As for my ex... he and his addict GF just had a baby boy this past week. He is still
unemployed... drives her car and is still lost in his addiction. Hasn't seen his kids since he left. Although he did bring them a present this past christmas. I do still pray for him to find sobriety and someday have a decent relationship with our children, for their benefit.
I try to talk openly and honestly with my children regarding their feelings and the resentments they have against their father. My son took it the hardest and he has been to a counselor.
There is peace and serenity in our home now.
Sorry for the book .... I just wanted to add the details for any newcomers with a loved one in prison that needs hope.
