Blogs


Notices

Who remembers the loved ones in prison thread....

Old 03-25-2010, 01:24 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
cinderellawkids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
Blog Entries: 1
Who remembers the loved ones in prison thread....

When I started that thread in November 06 I made a lot of lasting friendships.

I was just thinking abck and everyone who frequented whose A's were spouses or signifaicant others, seems to be seperated and or divorced from them after they got out and struggled some more.

What about the parents of As, where are your children at now?

Guess this is sorta a touchbase for Where are we now, and to show the more recent members facing some of the same things that life does go on, and hopefully we are all happy, but life certainly didnt turn out as we expected
cinderellawkids is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to cinderellawkids For This Useful Post:
Babs (03-27-2010), gotahavfaith (03-25-2010), MsPINKAcres (03-25-2010), rayofsunshine (03-27-2010)
Old 03-25-2010, 03:01 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Living in a Pinkful Place
 
MsPINKAcres's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
I remember that thread - I jumped in toward the end of it - I talked mostly about my step-daughter Ash.

She went to jail several times - lost custody of her children - relapsed after relapse -
I also shared some of my ex AH's struggles - of course he is NOW an ex AH - at the time he wasn't.

BUT let me share her miracle with you -
Providing that she continues to allow her HP to work thru her life and follow her program of recovery on April 3, 2010 - she will have 1 year in clean and sober!

She has 1 child full time, her daughter about 80 % of the time, and her oldest son on nice visitation basis. She has returned to the local university and is in her 2nd semester - she made the Dean's List the 1st semester. She has an awesome p/t job, works a good program and is learning to set very healthy boundaries.

I am so very proud FOR her - I truly beleive she has thru the help of a recovery program, the God of her understanding and a lot of hard work- discovered what a beautiful, intelligent and awesome woman she is!

It has been a true pleasure to watch this grow in her - Hard to step back and allow it to happen - but I'm grateful that I was able to be a little part of it.

Praying that we will hear many stories of success about our loved ones - and for those who haven't found that success yet - I pray that it will find your loved one soon.

HUGS,
Rita
MsPINKAcres is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to MsPINKAcres For This Useful Post:
Babs (03-27-2010), eaglesgirl (03-26-2010), gotahavfaith (03-25-2010), rayofsunshine (03-27-2010), stefanie (03-25-2010), wicked (03-25-2010)
Old 03-25-2010, 04:41 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 355
Japic
It is always so good for me to hear success stories. One day I hope my AD will be one of them.
Thanks

Gotahavfaith
gotahavfaith is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to gotahavfaith For This Useful Post:
Babs (03-27-2010), MsPINKAcres (03-30-2010), rayofsunshine (03-27-2010)
Old 03-25-2010, 07:28 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
My son remains missing, lost in his addiction for over 5 years now. I keep him in my prayers and turn his care over to God each day. That keeps me sane and able to live my life well.

I never thought I could be okay if my son was not. One of the gifts of my recovery is that I got my life and my sanity back and it didn't depend on how my son was doing.

My life is very full and happy and peaceful today. I miss my son, but after so many years of pain living with his addiction, I refuse to lose one more day wishing for what is not mine to control.

Life is precious, I came close to losing mine once and will never again go to that dark place.

I love hearing from the parents whose children are doing well. I think some are delicate about that with me sometimes, but it kindles the candle of hope in my heart each time I hear of some child finding a better path. I can only pray that one day all addicts can find recovery and escape the hell in which they live.

Hugs
Ann is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Ann For This Useful Post:
Babs (03-27-2010), eaglesgirl (03-26-2010), hello-kitty (03-29-2010), Hunny1116 (04-03-2010), MsPINKAcres (03-30-2010), rayofsunshine (03-27-2010)
Old 03-25-2010, 10:16 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Chino's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Blog Entries: 3
I'm not sure where my daughter is right now but she should be home in about an hour

She's alive and recovering, one day at a time. We're going to the flea market together this weekend and pretty excited about it.

My son is buying a house, my husband is restoring a few cars, I've picked up a new hobby (jewelry making), and I hope none of us ever take 'normal' for granted again.
Chino is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Chino For This Useful Post:
Ann (03-26-2010), Babs (03-27-2010), cinderellawkids (03-26-2010), eaglesgirl (03-26-2010), MsPINKAcres (03-30-2010), rayofsunshine (03-27-2010), wicked (03-26-2010)
Old 03-26-2010, 08:54 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 131
My ad started crack about 5 yrs. ago She got out of jail as a felon about 1 1/2 yrs. ago. She relapsed about 2 months ago. Now says she's clean but will not go for treatment. She was fired last month and evicted. We used to be so close as she's my only child. I doubt those times will ever return and as time passes it becomes more difficult to remember. I still have custody of my gd's, which have been a blessing to me.
katie53 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to katie53 For This Useful Post:
Babs (03-27-2010), MsPINKAcres (03-30-2010), rayofsunshine (03-27-2010)
Old 03-27-2010, 02:52 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Babs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 220
The Loved Ones In Prison thread was my life-line for several years. It started long before 11/06, Cindi. Remember the site crashed, and about 2 years of posts were lost and we had to start another thread.....I think the second incarnation was 11/06.

I ended up divorced and considerably happier. XAH did his 2 years of rehab and seems to be doing okay......I don't look too closely. Would it have turned out the same if I had stayed with him? I don't know. I don't think so.

I often wonder about Dakota and young Sadness. They both gave me important perspectives from other sides of the problem.

I made a lot of friends on that thread, too. It was priceless to me.

Babs
Babs is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Babs For This Useful Post:
Ann (03-27-2010), cinderellawkids (03-27-2010), MsPINKAcres (03-30-2010), rayofsunshine (03-27-2010), wicked (03-27-2010)
Old 03-27-2010, 07:05 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
cinderellawkids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
Blog Entries: 1
Your right Babs, because my and Jewelz Ah were released in Nov 06, guess it was the summer before.

I was hoping Ray would pop in
cinderellawkids is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to cinderellawkids For This Useful Post:
Babs (03-27-2010), MsPINKAcres (03-30-2010)
Old 03-27-2010, 05:50 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
rayofsunshine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
Hey Cindi! Babs and everyone... I just saw the thread.... I remember the Loved ones in prison thread... like Babs said.. it was my lifeline for a longtime as well.

My STBexAH's doc was meth. He got into trouble, was arrested, JAIL... (His sister and I bailed him out) then he got off on probation and as part of the sentence the judge allowed him to go to a year long Christian rehab... we got along so well during this year, were so close.... once he graduated he did good for maybe 6-9months afterward. Started hanging with the same old friends... relapsed, failed drug test & violated probation...jail (I bailed him out again) then ordered to a 30 day state rehab in the beautiful NC mountains.

A positive is we got to see the beautiful mountain scenery on visitation weekends. LOL
After 30 day rehab... did good for a while.. then relapsed, probation violation... jail...
(yes I bailed him out again and I used the same bail bondsman each time... this time he told me I should leave him in... I said I would next time.)... and this time he was ordered to a 90 day state rehab.

Did good for a while... then ... you guessed it.. relapse again. failed test... no more chances left... this time they were going to activate his 2 year prison sentence. So, he absconded... he was on intensive probation and had a 6pm curfew. He stayed away until he came by one day and fell asleep and the po caught him at home and arrested him. This time I left him in there. I wished I had found this site years before... I was naive about addiction and thought bailing him out was what I was supposed to do.. that it was a terrible place to leave him. Hindsight is 20/20 as they say and if I had it to do all over again, I may have bailed him out once, but once would be my limit.

The loved ones in prison thread was a place I felt safe posting here when my ex was in prison. There's so many feelings to work through.. it was nice sharing them with others with similar situations.

I'm thankful for SR in general too... I learned about co-dependency, enabling, boundaries, etc. Today, my mind is much healthier than it was living with active addiction. It has been a year and a half since I asked him to leave.

As for my ex... he and his addict GF just had a baby boy this past week. He is still
unemployed... drives her car and is still lost in his addiction. Hasn't seen his kids since he left. Although he did bring them a present this past christmas. I do still pray for him to find sobriety and someday have a decent relationship with our children, for their benefit.

I try to talk openly and honestly with my children regarding their feelings and the resentments they have against their father. My son took it the hardest and he has been to a counselor.

There is peace and serenity in our home now.

Sorry for the book .... I just wanted to add the details for any newcomers with a loved one in prison that needs hope.
rayofsunshine is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to rayofsunshine For This Useful Post:
Ann (03-27-2010), Babs (03-27-2010), cinderellawkids (03-28-2010), MsPINKAcres (03-30-2010), wicked (03-27-2010)
Old 03-27-2010, 07:57 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Babs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 220
I loved you guys then. I love you guys still. What would I have done without y'all?!?!

Loving hugs,
Babs
Babs is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Babs For This Useful Post:
MsPINKAcres (03-30-2010), rayofsunshine (03-28-2010)
Old 03-27-2010, 08:01 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
barblsn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: buffalo ny
Posts: 167
in 2006 my RAH went to prison for his second round of fraud and identity theft. I began divorce procedings but couldn't even finish the paperwork. His children asked me to give him another chance. I didn't talk to him for a year, but then I went with his daughter and grandaughter to visit him. I saw a change. He wasn't cocky, he wasn't trying to manipulate me. We spent a full year talking, and Iwatched him. I agreed that if he was granted work release he could come home....because if he didn't get a job in 6 weeks he'd have to go back. So he came home 11/08. Got a job. Stayed away from his people, including his family. Fixed up the house. Put me first. Got promoted.
We're still together, I trust him a little more than I did when he first came home, but I don't think I will ever trust him 100%. When he comes home late from work...I wonder. It's impossible to be with a man who is using, and it's hard being with them when they are in recovery.....
barblsn is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to barblsn For This Useful Post:
Babs (03-27-2010), cinderellawkids (03-28-2010), hello-kitty (04-04-2010), MsPINKAcres (03-30-2010), rayofsunshine (03-28-2010), want2Bfree325 (03-28-2010), wicked (03-27-2010)
Old 03-28-2010, 04:52 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Chino's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Blog Entries: 3
Originally Posted by Chino View Post
We're going to the flea market together this weekend and pretty excited about it.
We just got back home and I had to follow up. Sometimes we stayed together, sometimes we moved along at our pace. Sometimes we laughed or smiled at the same things. Sometimes we read each others minds. Sometimes we did the same things, like me buying her a piece of jewelry I knew she'd like, and her buying me one, too. We both ran up to each other saying "I got something for you!" at the same time. When we got home and unloaded, we did it again, both of us saying how much fun we had and then shared a hug.

It wasn't a normal day, it was a perfect day
Chino is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Chino For This Useful Post:
Ann (03-29-2010), Babs (03-28-2010), Callie (03-28-2010), cinderellawkids (03-28-2010), MsPINKAcres (03-30-2010), rayofsunshine (03-29-2010), wicked (03-28-2010)
Old 03-28-2010, 07:05 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Babs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 220
Originally Posted by Chino View Post

It wasn't a normal day, it was a perfect day
That's the gist of it, isn't it. A normal day IS a perfect day. How many years did we live with addiction and NEVER had one single normal day?
Babs is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Babs For This Useful Post:
Chino (03-29-2010), MsPINKAcres (03-30-2010), rayofsunshine (03-29-2010)
Old 03-28-2010, 09:29 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 325
Ladies- I'm sure I'm not alone when I say this. Your thread was like a lifeline to me. I was a lerker. I first read it, because I believed that my exh (was I still married then?) would be one of those who would end up in prison.

He didn't. But you ladies were like my little slice of heaven. On days when the world seemed so full of bad. There was this oasis. I can't recall anyones story's. Anything about your qualifiers. What I remember was all of you. As a group. Such love and kindness, caring of one another. You made the world a beautiful place. Oh and babs, there were many times, little do you all know- I climbed into that rocking chair, too!
Thank you all- for sharing your chair, your experience and your hearts.

Last edited by StillLearning1; 03-28-2010 at 09:31 PM. Reason: I need to use spelling check
StillLearning1 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to StillLearning1 For This Useful Post:
Babs (03-29-2010), cinderellawkids (04-01-2010), greeteachday (04-01-2010), MsPINKAcres (03-30-2010), rayofsunshine (03-29-2010)
Old 03-29-2010, 03:49 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Ahhh. Yes. My ex is out of prison. He's been out since last October I think. He started establishing a relationship with his son. He's still a liar. He still manipulates the truth. For the most part, we only talk about our son. He can't find a job. I'm not sure how hard he looks. He may look clean (and I'm not all that sure about that) but he's not recovered. I don't think he ever will be. He's a lost soul and he seems to be satisfied with that. His problems go much deeper than drugs.

I have firm boundaries in place that help guide my contact with him. They are like my rules for living. They help me not to get caught up. The less I know the better.

My son still loves his daddy though. I think he's the only person who does. Ahhh the unconditional love of a child.
hello-kitty is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to hello-kitty For This Useful Post:
Babs (03-30-2010), cinderellawkids (04-01-2010), MsPINKAcres (03-30-2010), rayofsunshine (03-30-2010)
Old 03-29-2010, 03:50 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Ahhh. Yes. My ex is out of prison. He's been out since last October I think. He started establishing a relationship with his son. He's still a liar. He still manipulates the truth. For the most part, we only talk about our son. He can't find a job. I'm not sure how hard he looks. He may look clean (and I'm not all that sure about that) but he's not recovered. I don't think he ever will be. He's a lost soul and he seems to be satisfied with that. His problems go much deeper than drugs.

I have firm boundaries in place that help guide my contact with him. They are like my rules for living. They help me not to get caught up. The less I know the better.

My son still loves his daddy though. I think he's the only person who does. Ahhh the unconditional love of a child.
hello-kitty is offline  
Old 03-30-2010, 08:23 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Living in a Pinkful Place
 
MsPINKAcres's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Oh I have tears in my eyes reading these post - it's like hearing from my long lost friends - and geez - I still read most of your post daily!! I'm such a wimp - lol!!

It is nice to touch base with everyone again.

Everytime I give up a prayer of thanksgiving for Ash's sobriety, protection and progress - please know - that each and everyone of YOUR loved ones are brought before the God of my understanding too!!!

HUGS,
Rita
MsPINKAcres is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to MsPINKAcres For This Useful Post:
Babs (03-30-2010), Chino (03-30-2010), cinderellawkids (04-01-2010), rayofsunshine (03-31-2010)
Old 03-30-2010, 12:19 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Geesh. After my post above, I end up letting the SOB into my house with a crack pipe. Damn the reality of it all.

Boundaries do not stop others from behaving like idiots and trying to impose their stupidity on you. They only help you to form responses that minimize the impact their ignorant behavior has on your life.
hello-kitty is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to hello-kitty For This Useful Post:
Babs (03-31-2010), barblsn (03-31-2010), cinderellawkids (04-01-2010), MsPINKAcres (03-30-2010), rayofsunshine (03-31-2010), ThatLittleGirl (03-30-2010)
Old 03-30-2010, 02:17 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Living in a Pinkful Place
 
MsPINKAcres's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((Kitty))
One day at a time - one drama at a time - Progress not Perfect - Keep working on taking care of YOU!!
Don't give up before your miracles Happen!!!
HUGS
MsPINKAcres is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to MsPINKAcres For This Useful Post:
Babs (04-03-2010), cinderellawkids (04-01-2010), rayofsunshine (03-31-2010)
Old 04-01-2010, 12:54 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
cinderellawkids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
Blog Entries: 1
He can't find a job. I'm not sure how hard he looks.
rofl sorry kitty but that rings so much truth
cinderellawkids is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to cinderellawkids For This Useful Post:
MsPINKAcres (04-01-2010)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:41 AM.