Just wanted to welcome you to SR also. You've already been referred to the Family and Friends section and to Alanon and so I will just tell you that boy did I see myself in your post. I was the drinker though. My husband would drink with me, but not as far into the night and would cut himself off. Years later he became diabetic, not because of the alcohol, but any ways he quit and I continued. I couldn't have quit had he continued to drink. I know myself. I do know, however, there are others on SR that have quit in a household where alcohol was kept. I can't imagine how hard it would be, but I guess its possible.
This may be a stupid question, but could you give it up until he has some time under his belt? Maybe if you started to lead the lifestyle you wish he would that he might follow. Like I said though, my husband quit drinking a few years ahead of me and so that didn't work in our case. I got sober when I was ready and thankfully still have him and my son in my life.
Sorry for your troubles and I do hope you get the support from here or elsewhere that you deserve. Hugs - Sarah